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Project Management Humor

Oh yeah, there’s a lot to laugh about in this business.
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Anything that can be changed will be changed until there is no time left to change anything.”
Nothing is impossible for the person who doesn't have to do it.
The person who says it will take the longest and cost the most is the only one with a clue on how to do the project.
If there are several ways a communication can be interpreted, the least convenient is the correct one.

The Hot Air Balloon

A woman was in a hot air balloon. She spotted someone below and lowered closer to the ground to get his attention. She shouted, “Hey, I don’t know where I am. Can you help me?”

A man on the ground responded, “You are in a hot air balloon. You’re about twenty feet above the ground, three miles East of the Mississippi River.”

“You must be a Engineer,” the woman replied.

“Why yes!” said the man, “How did you know?”.

“Everything you have told me is true, but I do not know what to do with this information. Honestly, I am still lost. You haven’t been any help at all,” she explained.

“Ah, you are a Project Manager,” noted the man.

“Yes, I am a Project Manager. How did you know?” she asked.

“You have no idea where you are or where you are going. You’ve gotten to where you are now due to a lot of hot air. And now you expect me to fix your situation. You are in the same situation now as you were before I came along, but somehow this is my fault!”